If you've always wanted to drink like a president, come to this Victorian-style saloon (established in 1856, albeit at another location, and the city's oldest watering hole) — a favorite of presidents Teddy Roosevelt, Grant, and Cleveland. Four bars, each serving up Ebbitt's menu of classic cocktails, ensure that your glass will never go empty.
12 Tasty Recipes for Jagermeister Cocktails and Shots
Jägermeister is an herbal, bitter liqueur from Germany made of a secret blend of over 50 herbs, fruits, and spices. It is a popular spirit that is easy to spot in any bar and liquor store you walk into.
In the past, Jäger (as it's popularly known) gained a notorious reputation because it can get you very drunk, very fast. That's due mostly to its use in shooters like the infamous Jäger bomb. It's one of those love-hate reputations (similar to tequila) that often comes with many of the stronger distilled spirits.
However, Jägermeister does have a place in "fancy" cocktails, and it adds a complex, herbal profile to drinks. As more drinkers realize that it can be used to make truly impressive cocktails, the liquor is finding a new home in the bar. And of course, it still used in shots, some of which are surprisingly delicious.
1. Moscow Mule
Copper mugs are known as the perfect vessel for an ice-cold Moscow mule. The insulating properties of copper as a metal keeps Moscow mule icy cool even during scorching summer days. Try this recipe with a gorgeous set of hammered copper mugs for a more refreshing drinking experience.
How to Make
- Combine vodka and lime juice into your favorite iced copper mug.
- Top with ginger beer.
- Garnish with a lime wheel for the perfect cocktail finish.
Satirical Presidential Candidate Cocktail Recipes
1. The Candidate: Donald Trump (Republican)
The Cocktail: “The Donald” - Pour two parts Dom Perignon and one part castor oil into in a Depression-era Champagne coupe. Serve it with a lemon twist and topped with egg white meringue. Before you can drink, buy some Trump vodka and throw it out the window because it’s only the best for Donald Trump.
2.The Candidate: Hillary Clinton (Democrat)
The Cocktail: “The Hillary Rodham Clinton” - One part sweet and sour mix and one part each of seven different liquors (choose whatever seems to be the most popular, but one of the seven most be Crown Royal). Shake and then stir in two packets of Sweet-n-Low. Pour into an “I Love New York” coffee mug and drink while deleting emails.
3. The Candidate: Bernie Sanders (Democrat)
The Cocktail: l the Bern Moscow Mule” - Mix two parts Fireball with one part homemade bottled ginger beer. Pour into a thrift store glass of any type and stir in authentic Vermont maple syrup to taste. Top off with Heady Topper beer (brewed in Vermont) and light on fire to l the Bern.”
4. The Candidate: Ben Carson (Republican)
The Cocktail: “The Surgeon” - With surgical precision, you must carefully extract a dead stink bug from the bottom of a warm glass of milk while reciting Old Testament verses before you can drink this cocktail.
5. The Candidate: Ted Cruz (Republican)
The Cocktail: “The Ted Collins”- Mix one part Canadian whiskey and one part sickly sweet lemonade soda served in a Collins glass while wearing a really bad suit and a super creepy smile.
6. The Candidate: Marco Rubio (Republican)
The Cocktail: “The Water Bottle” - Serve low quality plastic bottle rum poured into a plastic water bottle. Speak in a robot voice while drinking. Repeat yourself several times.
7. The Candidate: Jeb Bush (Republican)
The Cocktail: “The Little Brother” - Prepare a diluted mojito so weak that you wonder if there is actually any liquor in it at all.
8. The Candidate: John Kasich (Republican)
The Cocktail: “The Milquetoast” - Offer your guests an alternative to the Jeb Bush “The Little Brother” cocktail, but actually serve them the same drink. They won’t realize the difference.
8 Essential and Popular Tequila Cocktails for 2021
Between the undeniable popularity of the Margarita and the emergence of celebrity-backed brands, tequila is trending. And while there are countless ways to enjoy the spirit — both on its own and in cocktails — we’re taking it back to basics with the classic tequila recipes we can’t get enough of.
Looking to embrace agave this spring? Read on for the eight essential tequila cocktail recipes that showcase the simple elegance of the Mexican spirit.
Drinks Essentials For People Who Love Tequila
Forever the hero of summertime, the Margarita is the world’s most beloved tequila cocktail. And for good reason. The beauty of this three-ingredient beverage is in its simplicity. Just combine blanco tequila with lime juice and the orange liqueur of your choice, shake with ice, and strain into a glass with ice. Garnish with a lime, and be instantly transported to a tropical paradise.
After the Marg, the Paloma is the second most ordered tequila drink at cocktail bars around the world. The simple drink requires only four ingredients and can be built directly in the glass, making for easy cleanup. To build, add reposado or blanco tequila to your glass, and top with lime juice, salt, and grapefruit soda. This sessionable cocktail is sure to become an instant favorite.
Originally crafted in the 1930s in Arizona and popularized in the ‘70s by the Rolling Stones, this three-ingredient libation is named after its recognizable color gradient resembling a sunrise. To perfect the drink’s famed colorway, add tequila and orange juice to a Highball glass, and use a spoon to sink grenadine to the bottom of the glass — no mixing necessary.
The After-Hours Bloody Maria Recipe
A sibling of the Bloody Mary, the Bloody Maria substitutes tequila for vodka. While the classic recipe simply combines tequila with tomato juice, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, and pepper, this version adds chocolate-chili bitters for an evening-time take on the brunch staple.
The Tommy’s Margarita Recipe
Originally a riff on the classic Margarita, the Tommy’s Margarita has become an essential cocktail in its own right — finding its way onto the list of the 50 most popular beverages in the world. Invented in San Francisco by a bartender named Julio Bermejo at Tommy’s Mexican Restaurant, the Margarita variation simply swaps out orange liqueur for agave nectar.
The Tequila Negroni Recipe
Over the past few years, the Negroni has made a comeback, becoming a staple for drinks pros and home bartenders alike. Though the original recipe uses gin, tequila-lovers can easy sub in their favorite spirit for a balanced riff on the classic drink. For this recipe, we use Campari and sweet vermouth, but also add in a blood orange and ginger shrub for added freshness.
Ranch Water Recipe
This Texas staple has recently found its way onto bar menus across the country. A simple combination of Topo Chico, blanco tequila, and lime juice, Ranch Water is best served in a Topo Chico bottle and drunk on the hottest of summer days. It’s both refreshing and simple to concoct, meaning it’s easier to drink like a rancher than you might think.
The Winter Margarita Recipe
For a take on the Margarita ideal for chillier days, try out this festive recipe with a holiday twist. In a shaker, add ice, reposado tequila, lime juice, cranberry juice, and spiced-pear syrup (made with cinnamon, cloves, sugar, water, and pear). Shake, and strain into a glass rimmed with salt and chili. For a seasonal touch, garnish with fresh cranberries and a pear fan.
We open with some type definitions:
Custom types make the rest of the code more readable, and will let the compiler catch dumb mistakes like mixing up the order of my relations.
symbol is what Datalog calls &ldquostring&rdquo &ndash I point this out because it might be a little confusing if you&rsquore used to LISP or Ruby or some other language that uses the term differently.
Has is our first &ldquorelation.&rdquo
I had a lot of trouble thinking about relations until I had an insight that seems very obvious in hindsight: I actually use relations all the time, in relational databases. So it might be useful to think of Has like a table in SQL, with a single column. It&rsquos not quite the same thing, but I found it was a decent starting point for thinking about how to &ldquoshape&rdquo my data.
That .input line just loads a list of ingredients from a text file &ndash one ingredient per line. Inserts rows into our table, if you will &ndash except that in Datalog, &ldquorows&rdquo are called &ldquofacts.&rdquo
This relation is more interesting: these are our recipes. Although in a traditional language we might think of a recipe as < name : string, ingredients : List<string>> , we have to sort of bend things to fit into the &ldquotable-like&rdquo representation of relations.
Again, we just load data from a plain text file. By default, Soufflé wants to read tab-separated values, but I made a custom delimiter because I think it reads a little nicer, and so that I wouldn&rsquot have to deal with tabs. Nobody wants to deal with tabs.
Begets is a relation we&rsquore going to talk a lot about later. For now, just think of it as a bunch of statements like &ldquolimes beget lime juice&rdquo or &ldquoCognac begets brandy&rdquo &ndash ingredients that can become other ingredients, or ingredients that can act as other ingredients. The name Begets is weird and a little clumsy I&rsquoll explain why I chose it over Makes or ActsAs or something once we see how it&rsquos used.
I load Begets from two separate files because one is hand-curated and the other is autogenerated &ndash I&rsquoll explain why that is later, when we talk about the recipe book.
These are our &ldquomulti-ingredient ingredients.&rdquo Think flavored syrups, basically &ndash look in the file for some examples:
I only bothered to support two-ingredient combinations, because that covers basically everything. But you could add another Composite3() relation or something to support more ingredients, if you wanted.
Wait, why can recipes have arbitrarily many ingredients, if Composite s can&rsquot? Why not do the same thing here, and just make a &ldquotable&rdquo of ingredient combinations?
Okay, great question. Basically, I think it would add a distracting level of complexity to this example, so I&rsquom leaving it as an exercise for the reader. I haven&rsquot actually tried to do it, but I think that it would work, and you could even generalize the concept of a &ldquorecipe&rdquo to be any &ldquocombination of one or more things&rdquo and only have one type and everything would be beautiful and elegant but much harder to walk through in a blog post.
Now things get a little interesting: we have our first rule.
I don&rsquot load this one from a file. Instead I&rsquom basically saying &ldquo x is a recipe if it appears in the first &lsquocolumn&rsquo of the Needs relation.&rdquo You could think of this as analogous to a SQL view, kinda like:
I made IsRecipe just as a helper, because I think it&rsquos a lot more explicit than writing Needs(x, _) when I mean &ldquoall recipes.&rdquo
This is another helper, but it has multiple rules. All of those are kind of &ldquounioned&rdquo together. Basically: &ldquo x is an ingredient if it is used in a recipe or if it appears in a begets rule or in a composite description.&rdquo
We could just list out every ingredient in a file somewhere, but I think declaring the relation intensionally is a lot nicer. Also I wanted to show off that for the first time in my life I managed to use that term correctly. 2
The next relation is pretty trivial: Unbuyable is a list of things like egg white that appear as ingredients but that I don&rsquot want to appear in the final output, because I can&rsquot actually buy egg whites at the store. Like Begets , I have some autogenerated and some hand-curated entries.
Okay, now we&rsquore getting to the good stuff.
That first rule basically says &ldquoall ingredients beget themselves.&rdquo I would like to be able to just write Begets(x, x). , but Datalog doesn&rsquot allow that kind of &ldquoinfinite&rdquo rule &ndash it needs me to provide a domain for x , and that&rsquos when our IsIngredient helper comes in.
This is why the relation is called &ldquobegets&rdquo instead of &ldquomakes&rdquo or &ldquoproduces&rdquo or something. Originally it was called Makes , and I had awkward expressions like &ldquoif you have x or you have y such that Makes(y, x) then&mldr&rdquo By making everything beget itself, I was able to dramatically simplify the &ldquoshopping list&rdquo calculation.
That second rule just says that Begets is transitive: if limes make lime peel, and lime peel makes lime zest, then limes make lime zest. I actually didn&rsquot bother to write my rules at quite that level of granularity, but I could if I wanted to.
Now let&rsquos take a look at how we actually use Begets .
Basically, if you have an input (e.g. lemon), and the input begets something else (e.g. lemon juice), then you also have the &ldquooutput.&rdquo But you can&rsquot use the word output because it&rsquos reserved and you&rsquoll get a confusing error message if you try:
You might remember that we originally loaded Has from a file, and it was just a flat list of what Datalog calls &ldquofacts.&rdquo But now we&rsquore adding facts to it dynamically &ndash we started out thinking of it as a table, but now it&rsquos sort a weird table/view hybrid thing. So the SQL analogy sort of breaks down a bit.
And yes, it might be a little confusing to think about the fact that Begets(x, x) , so we&rsquore making a sort of self-referential infinite statement here: &ldquoif you have x then you have x because x begets x .&rdquo But Datalog doesn&rsquot mind.
Here we say that one component of a &ldquocomposite ingredient&rdquo begets that composite ingredient, but only if you already have the other component.
This is the first complicated rule we have, so I&rsquom going to work up to this from simpler examples. This was the first thing I tried:
That says &ldquolime zest begets lime cordial if you have sugar, and sugar begets lime cordial if you have lime zest.&rdquo
And this actually works pretty well &ndash but, you know, we don&rsquot want to write that in code. We want to load these facts from files, so we bring in the Composite relation:
That&rsquos just a restatement of what we wrote last time, but now it applies to anything in our Composite relation.
But there&rsquos a subtle problem with this logic. Namely: lime zest begets lime cordial, but lime does not. And I usually don&rsquot keep lime zest stocked by itself, so according to this logic, I can&rsquot make lime cordial even if I have lime.
So that&rsquos the reason we have this bit of indirection: really anything that begets lime zest also begets lime cordial, as long as you also have sugar. So let&rsquos look at the working rule in &ldquoconcrete&rdquo form, without the Composite relation:
I think that&rsquos a lot easier to read, and you can imagine applying the same Composite replacement here to get to the &ldquofull&rdquo rule above.
Note that we don&rsquot need to get even more indirect:
I only mention this because I actually wrote that first, before I realized that it was unnecessary: because of the rule that Has(out) :- Has(in), Begets(in, out). , we cover this case by virtue of the Has("lime zest") bit. 3
This is a pretty trivial helper relation &ndash a drink is missing an ingredient if it needs it and we don&rsquot have it. This is our first example of relation negation, which is a fun phrase.
And we use it to declare all of the drinks that we are able to mix &ndash which is to say, all drinks that do not have any missing ingredients.
At first I wanted to just write this:
But Soufflé rejects that: we need to restrict the domain of the relation. You can maybe think of this as trying to create a SQL table with every value that does not exist in another SQL table &ndash you&rsquod run out of disk space pretty quickly. Or, if you&rsquore Soufflé, you&rsquod run out of memory, I guess?
I think this offers an interesting insight into the nature of Datalog: although we write rules as if we&rsquore declaring functions, in the end I think all relations need to be able to be realized as a big pile of tuples. The engine might be able to optimize out the actual realization, but it needs to be possible. I think. Like I said, I don&rsquot actually know anything about Datalog.
This relation is very simple, and I added it the first time I actually tried to use Mixologician to find a drink to make. Instead of just a list of names, it&rsquos exactly my recipe book filtered to the recipes that I can make &ndash so I can search for specific ingredients, if I&rsquom in the mood for something in particular.
But the last rule is the meatiest. So without further ado, the reason we&rsquore all here:
And that&rsquos the whole program. We did it.
I&rsquom going to spend a lot of time talking about that Enables rule, so I wanted to get the .output lines out of the way first. While I was writing this program, I would frequently dump out other relations too, as a way to debug things. It was pretty useful.
But okay, let&rsquos break this monster down:
The !Unbuyable(ingredient) clause is trivial &ndash it just exists to filter out things like lime zest that we don&rsquot want to see in our output. Let&rsquos ignore that for now:
In English: &ldquo ingredient enables you to make drink if drink is missing something that ingredient can beget, and if the only missing ingredients in drink can be begotten by ingredient .&rdquo
What? That&rsquos not what it says at all!
Well, no, but that&rsquos what it means. It really says &ldquo ingredient enables you to make drink if drink is missing something that ingredient can beget, and if the number of missing ingredients in drink is equal to the number of missing ingredients in drink that can be begotten by ingredient .&rdquo We&rsquore really comparing set cardinality, not set equality, but since one set is a subset of the other, the only way they can have the same cardinality is if the sets are identical. 4 We would compare set equality if we could, but as far as I can tell Soufflé can&rsquot do that.
So hopefully that makes sense. It&rsquos a pretty simple expression, in the end. But it took me hours to write it. Really! I think I spent multiple hours coming up with that one rule. It was extremely fun and educational, but I feel like a lot of the benefit of the journey is lost when you just jump right to the final answer.
Low-Carb Sex in the Driveway
This scandalous-sounding drink lives up to its name with absolutely zero carbs — and a powerful vodka punch with two different types of vodka. The key ingredients to this bright blue keto cocktail: blueberry lemonade and white cherry water enhancers. The flavor enhancers — along with diet Sprite — make this a cocktail to savor.
The only downside: It does contain a hefty helping of calories, so keep this as a once-in-a-while thing.
The World&rsquos Best-Selling Classic Cocktails 2019
In the fast paced world of the global bar industry, we see many trends come and go. But one thing seems to remains the same: The classic cocktail. One might ask what defines a classic. Well let&rsquos just say that&rsquos up for debate. But since the Bellini, Aperol Spritz and Dark &lsquon&rsquo Stormy received votes from some of the 127 global bars polled we cannot ignore their place on The World&rsquos Best Selling Classics list. So how do we figure out which classics make the cut? Bartenders among the world&rsquos best bars are asked to rank their 10 best-selling classics, which then get weighted and ranked accordingly. This year remains largely the same for the firm favourites but as ever we see, with growth in popularity and rejuvenation of old recipes, some cocktails ascending or re-entering the list.
50. White Russian
Forget the Black Russian &ndash it seems the world&rsquos best bars prefer the addition of cream. Coming in at a poor 50 is the White Russian, not nearly as popular as it was in the &rsquo90s after the release of the film The Big Lebowski. Somehow this vodka and coffee liqueur cocktail has managed to creep back into the list this year &ndash we can only guess it&rsquos because coffee is on-trend.
Not your conventional cocktail, with only two ingredients the Bellini is an inbetweener. Invented by Giuseppe Cipriani, founder of Harry&rsquos Bar in Venice, this peachy number started off as seasonal, but eventually became a permanent fixture on the menu in both Venice and New York. This year only 3% of bartenders put it in their top 10 cocktails. It wouldn&rsquot be a surprise if the Bellini dropped off next year.
48. Champagne Cocktail
Champagne doesn&rsquot have to be drunk on its own. Down 19 is the Champagne Cocktail, just holding on to its spot in the list at 48. The first suggestion of using brandy or cognac with champagne was in Jerry Thomas&rsquo Bon Vivants Companion in 1862 Harry Johnson then added fruit to the cocktail. It seems the Champagne Cocktail just can&rsquot compete with the favourite here, French 75.
47. Irish Coffee
Emerging in the list at 47 is the Irish Coffee. This hot cocktail is thought to have been created by Joe Sheridan, the head chef of Foynes Flying Boat terminal, Ireland. He was asked to make something that would warm passengers and the Irish Coffee was born. For a mean Irish Coffee try Dead Rabbit&rsquos recipe: 1½ parts Bushmills Original Irish whiskey, ¾ parts demerara syrup, four parts hot brewed coffee and heavy cream, lightly whipped.
After a resurgence of sherry it&rsquos no wonder the Bamboo has made a reappearance in the list this year. The stories behind the origins of this cocktail are quite conflicting, from songs about bamboo to bartenders in Japan, but nobody really knows. Nonetheless, if you&rsquore into sherry this one&rsquos for you &ndash 1½ parts sherry, 1½ parts dry vermouth, two dashes Angostura bitters, two dashes orange bitters.
45. Gin Gin Mule
The Gin Gin Mule is a crossbreed of the Moscow Mule and Mojito but with gin instead. Audrey Saunders, owner of Pegu Club, made this cocktail in the year 2000 and 19 years later it features in our list, one of a very few modernday classics that made it. It&rsquos safe to say The Gin Gin Mule laid down an early marker for gin and entering back into the list in 2019 proves it had staying power.
44. Long Island Iced Tea
Your eyes are not deceiving you &ndash the Long Island Iced Tea is back again, and up five places from 2017. We don&rsquot actually know who made this concoction. One claim is by Robert &lsquoRosebud&rsquo Butt who worked at the Oak Beach Inn, Long Island. While we don&rsquot understand why anyone would want to claim it, out of the bars polled just over 4% put it in their top 10 &ndash quite a brave move.
Vesper is up 10 places this year to number 43. The gin and vodka Martini is named after the fictional character Vesper Lynd in the Bond novel Casino Royale. The creator is, unusually, not a bartender, but author of the Bond novels Ian Fleming. In the book he calls for: &ldquoThree measures of Gordon&rsquos one of vodka half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it over ice, and add a thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?&rdquo &ndash Yep.
Brazil&rsquos national cocktail, Caipirinha is up two places to 42. Although the origins of this drink are unknown, one story says it was created in Portugal, with a popular variation being used for Spanish Flu patients. In recent years the availability of high-quality cachaça has increased outside of Brazil and this could be one of the reasons for Caipirinha&rsquos appearance on this list.
41. Tom Collins
&ldquoHave you seen Tom Collins?&rdquo the hoax of 1874 might be long gone, but Tom Collins the classic cocktail isn&rsquot. Still on the list but down 16 places, it could be losing its popularity. This citrusy cocktail is traditionally made with gin but maybe it&rsquos time to switch up the original. Try Tom Collins&rsquo Mexican cousin, Juan for example.
The Pioneering Spirit
This delicious drink is the perfect balance of modern and traditional: the classic single malt Glenfiddich perfectly balances out the refreshing, sweet pear juice and agave nectar to make for a delicious whisky cocktail.
1 ½ parts Glenfiddich 12 Year Old
Shake all ingredients on ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lemon peel.
Cocktails for Drinkers: Accessible, Not Even Remotely Artisanal Cocktails
The craft cocktail movement has gotten a little intense and, though I’m not complaining, many feel that it’s all become a bit precious with infusions, fancy syrups, and locally-sourced herbal tinctures. In Cocktails for Drinkers , author Jennifer McCartney gives you the guidance you need to make “a good, stiff cocktail at your kitchen counter,” no muddling required.
This is part of Lifehacker’s book review series. Not every life hack can be summed up in a blog post, so we’ve decided to review some of our favorite life-changing books for deeper dives into life’s most important topics.
Framed as the “anti-hipster drink book” that is “perfect for hipsters and their haters,” McCartney sends up the craft cocktail movement with a healthy dose of sarcasm and a lot of booze.
Who This Book is For
This book is for people who need their drinks to get to the damn point. These cocktails are strong, easy to make, and often quite large. Due the to heavy-pouring nature of the recipes, this is a cocktail book for the person who isn’t afraid to actually taste a bit of ethanol.
If you’ve used the word “artisanal” in a non-ironic way in the last month or so, this book is probably not for you. If you roll your eyes every time I write a post about super clear ice cubes , you will probably get a kick out of it. This isn’t to say that a lover of housemade bitters and smoked ice couldn’t enjoy this beverage book, but a self-deprecating sense of humor would be required.
Make Crystal Clear Ice Orbs with an Insulated Coffee Mug
I’m a bit exacting when it comes to the ice in my cocktails. I like one large, perfectly clear…
Every beverage is comprised of three ingredients or less, not counting garnishes, and keeps the instructions as simple as humanly possible. The goal of this book is less about crafting a perfect martini, and more about getting drunk on tasty, easily mixed beverages. It’s also a great gift for your friend who needs to lighten the eff up about drinking.
What You’ll Get
Cocktails for Drinkers is divided by spirit, and covers cocktails containing:
- Whiskey, bourbon, and rye (all one chapter)
- Champagne and Prosecco
- Assorted liquors and liqueurs.
But before you even get to the recipes, McCartney shares a bit of her laid-back drinking philosophy in the extremely entertaining introduction.
Not only does McCartney shun the shiny bar spoon, she goes so far as to advocate measuring by sight. I mean, her reasoning is pretty solid:
You don’t even really need a shot glass for measurement. What’s the worse that could happen? Whoops—too much booze in my cocktail! Not a real thing that happens, Use your eyeballs and pour booze from a bottle into a glass filled with ice. Add your second and third ingredients. Stir it. Drink it.
McCartney’s views on bitters and garnishes are similarly lax. Though she suggests buying a few premade bottles of grenadine and simple syrup, they’re not viewed as necessities, and she presents garnishes as something that exist mainly for “optics.”
Each section has a nice, historical or anecdotal blurb about the spirit at hand, many of which made me giggle. At the beginning of the tequila chapter, McCartney describes a college tequila party which resulted in a friend’s hospitalization, the lesson of which was “don’t let your kids go to college.” Other than that, it’s just simple recipe after simple recipe. You may notice a few favorites missing there’s no French 75 or Sazerac , as these violate the “ three ingredient rule.” Even so, there are plenty of recipes that fall under this rule that are well-crafted (and economical) without being fussy.
Prime Your Appetite and Settle Your Stomach With Pre- and Post-Meal Drinks
A lot of folks worry about what to drink with their food, but I firmly believe that one should pay…
One Trick You’ll Take Away
This book is one big attitude adjustment, and the trick is getting the reader to chill. The main message here is “relax, it’s just alcohol,” which is as refreshing as the Bloodhound cocktail (4 strawberries + 2 ounces gin + 2 ounces sweet vermouth) you will find within the binding of this irreverent tome .
The best thing about Cocktails for Drinkers is that it gives you a ton of ideas for cocktails that taste good without making an expensive trip to the liquor store. Though there are a lot of “liquor + soda” recipes, there are also a fair amount of classier cocktails slipped in there, such as the Americano (2 ounces Campari + 2 ounces sweet vermouth + splash of club soda) and the Gimlet (4 ounces gin + 2 ounces lime cordial + lime wedge).
Cocktails for Drinkers is a fun and funny book with lots of perfectly serviceable cocktail recipes that will get you blitzed. It’s a great book for someone who wants to get into making cocktails at home, but is worried about messing up the ratios. It’s also just a fun read. Just when I started to take this whole thing too seriously, I encountered McCartney’s “recipe” for “White Wine” which is just a bottle of white wine that you better not let breathe.
Flavor-wise, the beverages run the gamut from super sweet to super dry. I’m not a huge fan of a cloying cocktail and found the drinks sweetened with syrup or honey (such as the Bee’s Knees, which is 3 ounces gin + 1 ½ ounces lemon juice + 1 ½ ounces honey) to be just a tad much. The ethanol only beverages, however, were strong and true, and the serving sizes are not for the faint of liver.
When to Shake and When to Stir a Cocktail
You might think that it doesn't really matter whether a cocktail should be shake or stirred, but…
Though it’s contrary to the spirit of the book, I do have a few quibbles. One of the most important things you can learn about making cocktails is when to shake vs. when to stir . Contrary to what Bond films may have taught you, a shaken martini is a glass of lies. Shaking should be reserved for those times when your beverage contains syrups, juices, or other ingredients with with viscosities and densities that vary greatly from that of your alcohol. In those instances, extra agitation is needed to help fully incorporate the ingredients into one, homogenous beverage. This isn’t needed in an all-alcohol cocktail, and doing so will water down your drink. Though McCartney recommends stirring and straining the gin martini, the instructions for a vodka martini recommend the use of a cocktail shaker for an “extra-cold beverage.” Conversely, the Bee’s Knees (which contains a fair amount of honey) would greatly benefit from shaking, rather than simply “combining” and serving over ice.
I appreciate that McCartney avoids bogging down her readers with unnecessary bar equipment like $60-stirring glasses, but that doesn’t change the fact that some cocktails just taste better when stirred. Though it’s easy to go overboard with “rules” when it comes to drinking, some of the recipes in Cocktails for Drinkers overcompensate in the other direction. You may not need a fancy wooden muddler to make the Bloodhound, but the recipe calls for “mashed” strawberries. Sure, you can accomplish this with a fork, but it’s still basically muddling, and we were promised there would be “no muddling” in the introduction.
These are small points, and they’re ones that you may not care about. You could easily argue that these criticisms simply illustrate that I am the type of scum that this book was not written for. Afterall , who do I think I am? I drink Campari and soda out of a coffee mug.
12 Disgusting Alcoholic Drinks We Dare You To Try. Triple Dog Dare You.
Getting drunk is a popular and near-worldwide pastime. It wouldn't be if we all had to get there on any of the drinks below.
1. The Mac & Cheese 'Shot'
Cheese rum (powdered cheese mix and rum)
Take the age-old recipe, add some rum and create what Satan probably serves at his dinner parties.
This Latin American corn-based beer is traditionally created by using human saliva to break down starches into sugars. The finished product is actually boiled before serving, meaning it is a sterile product. So, mmm, yeah, drink up.
3. Smoker's Cough
Smoking is bad for you. This vile shot can't be much better.
4. Prairie Chicken
Raw egg yolk
Salt and pepper
An alternative to the Prairie Oyster (bourbon, Tabasco sauce, and a raw egg), which also sounds awful.
5. Gilpin Family Whisky
Urine of elderly diabetics
This wonderful concoction is the artistic statement of James Gilpin and unfortunately isn't sold in stores, so put your car keys down. Gilpin takes the urine of two diabetic patients daily, extracts the high sugar content, then uses that sugar in the fermentation of whisky production. Well, obviously!
6. Beer & Milk (Horse Jizz)
100% terrible. Two ingredients never meant to be mixed and a drink that should never be uttered.
7. Baby Mice Wine
Traditionally a "health tonic" in Chinese and Korean cultures, baby mice are taken shortly after birth, eyes still closed, and dropped alive into a jug of rice wine. The wine is left to ferment and anyone who has ever owned a pet rodent exits the room never to return again. After the wine is imbibed, the mice are eaten. Vomit.
This is a pickled egg soaked in Jager, then placed in a glass, which is then filled with more Jager. Think very carefully: Is a pickled egg ever an ingredient in anything you've willingly consumed? It's an important question.
9. Tapeworm Shot
Squeeze from a mayonnaise bottle
"Squeeze from a mayonnaise bottle" is easily in contention for the worst five-word phrase in history.
10. Infected Whitehead Shot
Bloody Mary mix
Spoonful of cottage cheese
You still with us? Impressive.
11. Snake Bile Wine
Bile extracted from live cobra
Go ahead and get yourself one live cobra. Give him a good name. Slinky's a good snake name. Now cut him open, remove his gallbladder and extract the sweet, sweet bile. Mix that with rice wine and serve to anyone who enjoys harnessing the power of cobra bile.
12. The Kim Jong Un Nuclear Bomb
1 Big Mac
1 McDonald's large fries
1 McDonald's tangy BBQ sauce
1 McDonald's milk shake (chocolate, strawberry and vanilla mixed)
1 McDonald's apple pie
This is perhaps the ultimate WTF. What better way to stick it to the North Korean dictator than to throw the most American of food items into a blender, add vodka, and (try to) get drunk? Don't watch it being made and consumed.